I was about to start having sex when I realized the album was done downloading and I said to myself, why not? And pushed play.
Now I'm not one of those cheesy motherfuckers that play Barry White and Marvin Gaye as background music to "get it on". My original idea was more like "let's see if I can multitask and write a record review, in my head at least, while I do the thing" and the first song that came out was "Africa" which has a pretty good up-tempo beat so I liked it and she liked it and we were doing it to the rhythm of those tribal drums so I decided to leave it playing. Then this song came out and she looked at me like "what the fuck??" and at the moment the beat kicked in and the dude started pseudo-rapping in a PM Dawn flow I couldn't help it and I started laughing my ass off. I was instantly transported back to 1991 and that was probably the unsexiest time in my life, being a total nerd teenager making mix-tapes in my room with songs recorded from the radio. It totally ruined the afternoon sex mood.
Anyway, after a few other mellow tracks I had to press stop. Up-beat and campy can be pretty cool but artsy-fartsy mellow makes me wanna stick my thumbs into my eyeballs and choke on my vomit. I'll definitely keep the "Africa" and "Dance" songs because I might play them in my future sets (I said the same about "Hey, culito" when I got it a year ago but I still haven't found a proper situation to play it), I'll also keep the title track because it's hella funny, but I'll avoid ever playing it again duiring sex. The rest I'm deleting right now.
UPDATE: A week after writing this review, I still haven't been able to get the Nothing Really matters song off my head and I eventually started loving it. That's what happens when you write first-impression reviews.