Saturday, October 18, 2008

HECTOR EL FATHER-Juicio Final (Machete Music 2008)

I knew this guy only from his guest-appearances in other reggaetón albums so when I received this CD on the mail I said to myself "Oh well, another reggaetón CD, at least I can get one or two dance songs to play at the parties." You know, because that's basically the only thing reggaetón is good for, to make people shake their asses in the dance floor. Nobody actually listens to reggaetón, nobody really plays close attention to the lyrics as long as the dem-bow beat gives them an excuse to grind against some other sweaty person. So you tend not to expect too much from a reggaetón album, you're like, "ok, it's what it is, it's crappy disposable music, sure, but it's functional, at least it makes people dance", and as a DJ that's what you look for most of the time.
Unfortunately what I was looking for was nowhere to be found. Among the thirteen tracks of this CD there are five straight-up ballads with piano and violins and singing and all that cheesy bullshit. The rest where either rap (with very primitive rhyme structures, no witty wordplay, no good punchlines and monotone boring-ass flow) and very low-tempo pseudo-reggaetón (I mean, they sort of have a dem-bow beat somewhere in there, but they don't make anybody dance). To make matters worse, the whole album, from the first to the last song is filled with Christian preaching. To be fair, this would have to be labeled as a Latin Christian Pop album, and never ever be placed near the reggaetón section of the store. In the song "Payaso" he goes as far as claiming that he used to be a clown, when he used to sing about sex and guns, but now Jesus showed him the right path to save himself... please! Dude, admitting that on a song is exactly what makes you look like a clown, I almost died of an overdose of secondhand embarrassment!
Conclusion, I will never play any song of this CD again and I'll probably burn in hell por los siglos de los siglos, amén.